Degrees Fahrenheit

+60: Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one).
+50: Miami residents turn on the heat.
+40: You can see your breath; Californians shiver uncontrollably;
     Minnesotans go swimming.
+35: Italian cars don't start.
+32: Water freezes.
+30: You plan your vacation to Australia.
+25: Ohio water freezes; Californians weep pitiably;
     Minnesotans eat ice cream; Canadians go swimming.
+20: Politicians begin to talk about the homeless; New York City
     water freezes; Miami residents plan vacation further south.
+15: French cars don't start; Cat insists on sleeping in your
     bed with you.
+10: You need jumper cables to get the car going.
+ 5: American cars don't start.
  0: Alaskans put on T-Shirts.
-10: German cars don't start; Eyes freeze shut when you blink.
-15: You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo;
     Arkansans stick their tongues on metal objects;
     Miami residents cease to exist.
-20: Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you;
     Politicians actually do something about the homeless;
     Minnesotans shovel snow off roof; Japanese cars don't start.
-25: Too cold to think; You need jumper cables to get
     the driver going.
-30: You plan a two week hot bath; Swedish cars don't start.
-40: Californians disappear; Minnesotans button top button;
     Canadians put on sweaters; Your car helps you plan your
     trip south.
-50: Congressional hot air freezes; Alaskans close the bathroom
     window.
-80: Hell freezes over; Polar bears move south;
     Green Bay Packer fans order hot cocoa at the game.
-90: Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.